Reflections on a year past

Wow. It has been a year since I started this webpage. So much change, so many emotions, so much healing.

I didn’t keep up with this blog, because one thing I learned about myself, when life gets busy, I tend to ignore going within, and just go into survival mode. And good habits get put on the shelf for later. When the time is perfect and the conditions are right.

Then I learned, rarely is the time perfect, nor the conditions just right. But you need to go within anyway. In fact, that is especially the time to do it.

2023 was quite a year of exploration. Inside and outside of myself. And sometimes the outward exploring helps to explore the inside. I know, what the hell does that mean? My first three months of the year was a lot of inward exploration as I was committed to stay with a job for 3 more months that was suffocating my Spirit. Although I loved working with my coworker, I couldn’t stay, for my own sake. I walked out of there with a weight lifted off my shoulders, and started the road trip that helped me find and define parts of me again.

I love to travel by myself. No distractions. And a little more selfishly, I can stop when I want to, take pictures, see things I may have missed with someone traveling with me. I love to wander, to be open to not following a rigid schedule, to be free. For this type of exploration brings the most soulful experiences to me. Letting the Universe guide me to what I need to experience. And trusting it to do so. I have never regretted listening and following. And in doing so, I have had amazing personal interactions with others that have fed my Soul. And no, I don’t always travel alone, I do love to travel with others too. But when I need to go deep, it is when I go solo.

Inwardly, I have reached many peaks and depths this year. I have found a “tribe” of others that I meet quarterly with. Others with the same goals, to go deep, identify wounds, work on healing them, and in making ourselves a better person, more whole. To support each other and nurture each other in very vulnerable times. I never really understood that before. When I would hear that idea that healing the world starts with healing ourselves first, I wondered why the hell can’t the world be a better place even if I am still dealing with, or not dealing, with my shit?

Because…. how can the world be better, when I am still triggered by issues? How can I expect change out there, when I don’t change what’s in me? As I work on making myself whole, I can be a better person out there, and inside. And that energy we project, does affect others. Either consciously or subconsciously One thing I learned at The Institute of Heartmath years ago, is that our hearts project our energy to about a distance of 6 feet. This has been scientifically tested. Others can pick up the essence of what we are projecting. Positive or negative. This is all done on a subconscious level for most people. But there are those that can immediately feel it. And if someone is projecting negative energy, we all can sense it. But the big message here, is if I come from a loving space, others can feel that, it can produce a chain reaction of positivity. And vice versa. So if we can work on ourselves to become the best of who we can be, the whole world benefits. Bottom line is, we all feel the energy of others, whether we are conscious of it, or not. And it can create a snowball effect.

I was raised in the Catholic Church. And I have to say, it did not make me a better person. If all I needed to feel good about my sins was to go to confession and have them absolved, I am not working on making myself better. And if I am behaving in a certain way because of fear, I am not making myself a better person. I am not a “religious” person. But I would like to say I am a more “Spiritual” person. Not meant to be in an egotistical way. I find religion to be more set in the Ego, and being Spiritual to be more in alignment with the Great Spirit. I can’t say God anymore, it takes me to my Catholic roots, in which God could be a very patriarchal, punishing entity. And personally, I no longer believe that. I don’t believe God blesses some people, and not others. Even though the “blessed” want to tell us. (Ego based). God doesn’t have anything to do with letting a football team win because they are more Christian than the others, or bless people with big houses, or fancy cars. Or even blessing countries. Meanwhile, a child is getting neglected, or raped. A child who is not old enough to know what sin is, much less partake in it. That is all a smokescreen. I am sorry if I offend anyone, but I can’t follow a book that has so many interpretations. I don’t think Spirituality should be so hard to figure out. Studied to ad naseum. While people have their nose in these books, they are missing the most important thing. Just being a caring, empathetic person. That is what we all need. Following a book, and I am talking many religions’ books, won’t get us there. Look around in the world, in this country, and you can see what happens when we follow these books. It makes us close-minded, entitled, righteous…and there lies our problem. Getting closer to our Creator should not be complicated, or controlled. If we can’t understand it, we can’t feel it.

So, then, where is this Great Spirit? Everywhere. Go out for a walk in Nature. There you see and feel the power and magnificence. Look into a child’s eyes, or lover’s, or grandparents, or even your pet’s eyes. This is where we can feel the love of our Creator. It is everywhere. And not punishing, but waiting, for you to recognize in others, what is inside you. It is simple, really, be kind, heal what wounds you may have, and try to be one projecting the positive, loving energy. So others will recognize that in themselves. We are all connected in this web of life.

I would like to share a poem I wrote on the plane on my way back from Mallorca, Spain. I was just so in awe with it’s beauty. And it inspired this:

My church has no walls. It is as wide as the eye can see, and as high where the moon and stars kiss the sky, and beyond. And as deep as the roots, nurtured by our Mother.

It is open to All. As long as Love, Kindness, and Compassion are practiced. For this church does not condemn, judge, or use fear.

The steeples are the mountains, reachin up to embrace the Divineness.

And the pews…are often covered in moss, allowing space to commune with what Is.

The choir are the song birds welcoming the morning, and joining with the crickets at night, to close the day.

The congreations is made up of All living beings. And of those who have gone before us, upon whose shoulders we stand.

There are many words to describe the Divine Source: Love, God, Allah, Creator, Jehova, Great Spirit…Each name referring to One Universal Source of Light and Love. and knowing this is not a punishing or condeming Divine Source.

For we choose to follow the Darkness or the Light. To follow Fear, or Love.

The foundation of this church is built on Love, Respect, Compassion, Action, and Empathy. Celebrating the Oneness of All. And knowing that we are all interconnected. All part of the Web.

Connection to the Diving can be seen, felt, or heard instantly…in a beautiful sunset, watching eagles soar, in the laugh and love a child. In connection with animals… Within ourselves, or in memories.

The changes of seasons, the dying and rebirth, serve to remind us of Divine order.

And the blessings, well they are infinite…be it in sacred encounters with loved ones, animals, or within ourselves. Recognizing these gifts and practicing gratitude.

Communion is served in each connection with others. When we recognize our Soul’s Light reflecting from another’s.

All our welcome, as long as you have and keep and open heart.

So as 2024 enters, I invite you to go within, and listen, listen to the nudges of the heart. Then trust and take action. And be ready to be in awe of where you go. I dare you.. :)

Magic happens when you listen

Previously, I have written about the ways to access the Heart’s wisdom. This time, I would like to give examples from my life, to illustrate the magic that can happen when you do listen.

This “magic” is available to anyone who will listen, then act on what is heard. It is not restricted to a few special people, but to anyone brave enough to act. It takes an element of faith to make the first step. It definitely requires trust, which is strengthened with each small step taken.

These examples I will give, show that trusting what the heart tells you can be used in very practical matters, or deeper spiritual matters. Nothing is irrevelant.

Seven years ago, I attended a weekend retreat with the American Holistic Nurses Association, over on the peninsula. Wonderful women attended, and one was a newly retired Hospice nurse. I had been looking to switch nursing careers, not knowing which direction to go. I had been a cardio-thoracic nurse for 8 years and needed a change, but was too fearful to do so. I had talked to this nurse a little about her work, and she spoke with such passion. It sparked an interest in me. Part of our weekend included doing a medicine walk. In which we went out into nature, by ourselves, seeking answers to a question, by paying attention to what came into our path. We were told to have a conversation with anything that appeared. Well, I had a grasshopper jump in front of me. So I stopped. We were to listen, from our hearts, what messages we were given. The main message I received from this grasshopper, was that I have the strength to leap forward, and be successful.

I know, sounds pretty corny, but when I got back home, I started looking for a job in hospice, and 3 weeks later was offered a job. It was a life-changing move. One that satisfied my quest for a soulful job, and I never regret making the leap.

My coworker/friend and I put our names on a list with a downpayment to buy a new hybrid car back in May. We were hoping to have a new car by the end of last year. It was the end of November, and still no hope for a car soon. I had just given notice at my job, and I realized, if a car came in, I wouldn’t qualify for a loan with no source of income. So on a whim, as I was driving home, I decided to stop by the Toyota dealership near my house to see if they had a car. On my way there, I was trying to get an answer from my “heart”, as to whether I really should stop by. I felt a nudge to do so.

They didn’t have the RAV 4 Hybrid I was really hoping for. And no plans to get any for months. BUT, the salesman told me financing didn’t go through for someone, so a different hybrid was available. I thought, yea, right, realizing I was pretty much viewed as a sucker walking in there. I don’t have a lot of trust with salesman. He showed me the car, I took it for a drive, and really liked it. And realized, if I qualify, I better get this car, as I wouldn’t have a job soon. So, I went ahead and bought it. I didn’t drive it for a month. I really loved my old car, and felt a new car was just too fancy. I am not one impressed by cars, I just want reliability, and now, better gas mileage. My first new car ever. I took my old car in for a buyer’s check, only to find out that I would probably need to put $7000 into it soon, to keep it running. I didn’t have buyer’s remorse any longer. I realized I was guided to get this car. I had to go into the bathroom at the dealership to confirm I was making the right choice. It was quiet, and I could listen. Each time I asked, the answer was yes, buy the car.

Those are practical examples. But one of my most impactful times was listening to my heart to go to Standing Rock. To help at the protest. I kept having signs appear that seem to confirm I needed to go. Like what? Well, there were so many. But one time I was cleaning out my car, and I found two quarters. They were those state quarters, one North Dakota, the other South Dakota. Once I got lost in Everett and ended up on Dakota street. I could go on, but ultimately I committed to going to Standing Rock. All within about a month. I won’t write about it all, but the most impactful event that happened on the trip, was being directed by a Sioux man to go pray with his uncle on one day. Long story short, I ended up climbing into a van with 12 strangers, leaving Anna and my friend at camp, and traveling to pray with Severt’s uncle, who ended up being Chief Arvol Lookinghorse. Chief of the Sioux Nation. I did sweat lodge ceremony, pipe lodge ceremony, then smoked from the pipe. That was probably the deepest Spiritual experience in my life. And I still don’t understand how I received that opportunity, but I never would have, had I not followed my heart.

The heart is the seat of deep wisdom. Leading us to live the life we are meant to live. To experience, feel, enjoy, and express ourselves in alignment with our souls.

So, the moral of the stories are, listen. Listen often, and listen deeply. Let the magic begin.

The wisdom of the heart and how to access it

I want to share a technique I learned at the Institute of Heartmath, that with practice, allows you to tap into your own heart’s intelligence. It is simple, but don’t let the simplicity fool you.

You can use this technique when you are feeling stress, or when you have questions you need answered. There is a huge component of trust that is needed as you begin this. To discern hearing what you want to hear, versus hearing what the heart is telling you.

Where is this “voice” of the heart coming from? There are many theories. Many believe the heart is the seat of the Soul. What is the Soul? Now that is a question with many answers, depending on who you ask. But this is my belief and answer. The Soul, is that essence of us, the energy, if you will, that is everlasting. This essence is connected to the Universal Source, or God, or Jehova, Great Spirit, or whatever you many choose to call that which is greater than you. And for me, this is a source of Universal Love. This is the basis of Reiki.

In Reiki we call it the Universal Life Force Energy. The energy we receive and pass on is from this Source. Which is always based in love. We, Reiki practitioners, are only conduits, to conduct this energy. My visions of what our Creator “looks like” has changed over the years. From my Catholic days, it was a benevolent long-bearded man with a long robe. But now, I liken this Source as a big ball of golden Light. Warm and loving. And we are a part of this Light. No need to assign a human form to it, or a gender. That is man made. But if that is what helps you to understand a benevolent Source, that is perfectly fine. Not one of us can say we are right and someone else is wrong. Because we don’t know. This just happens to be my belief.

And if we focused more on the goodness of this Light, and less on arguing over who is the right religion, or the chosen religion, the better off we would all be.

So as extensions of this Light, we are always connected to it, and can access it when we want. Whether we cover that Light, or not, it is always within us. It is the wisdom within us.

I was looking at some old Catholic pictures of Christ, and guess what you often see. Jesus with his heart exposed surrounded in this beautiful golden Light. And saints with golden halos. I don’t think it is just a coincidence.

So, how do we access this wisdom and Love? Very easily. You can do this at a stop light, or relaxing on a couch, in the line at the grocery store. Wherever it is safe to take a few moments to close your eyes and relax. I will use the word “entrainment”. This is a state of balance within the body, a synchronicity of the heart and brain in harmony.

Take a deep inhale/exhale. Focus on the area of your heart. Put your hand over that area if it helps. Take a few deep breaths, really focusing on the breaths going into and out of the heart. Box breathing is a good technique to do. Inhale 5 seconds, hold 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds, hold 5 seconds. Or adjust the timing to what is comfortable for you. This alone can help shift negative energy and bring the body back into entrainment.

Next, if you are trying to balance stress or a negative emotion, take that emotion (anger, depression, anxiety, etc) and put it in a bubble outside of your body. Next, focus on a positive memory, a loved one, a funny incident, a peaceful setting. Anything that brings a feeling of relaxation and joy. Focus on this as long as you can. Whether it is seconds to minutes. Really feel and experience this joy. When you need to stop, thank your heart for the feeling of peace. Doing this exercise can physiologically change the hormones of stress in your body and bring it back into entrainment.

If you have a question you need an answer to, or direction in your life, do this same procedure of breathing through the heart and focusing on something joyful. No need to put anything in a bubble. Once relaxed and focused on the heart, ask your question. Then wait for an answer. What pops into your head. You will know if the answer is authentic, by the way it feels in your body. It will always feel right. No feeling of incongruence. It may take a little bit of time to trust yourself on this. With time and experience, you will have no problem discerning the right answer, from one you feel you made up.

If you have any questions about this process, please email me.

I hope you give it a try, lots of love.

You should sit in nature for 20 minutes a day….unless you’re busy, then you should sit for an hour

This is on old Zen Proverb. And I couldn’t agree more. When I worked at the UWMC, I read about a study in which participants were observed and their blood pressures monitored. The participants were either in a room that looked out over buildings and concrete, or in a room looking out to the canal and the beautiful old trees in the back of the hospital. What they found was, the participants who had natural views had lower blood pressures than those with a concrete view. And that postoperative time was shorter. (UW Urban Forestry and Human Benefits)

We humans, are not separate from Nature, we are Nature, along with every other carbon-based, living things on this beautiful planet. Animals, plants, trees, etc. We are all part of this web, and truly, what we do to the web, we do to ourselves. We are unfortunately learning this lesson now. When we distance ourselves from the Natural world, we tend to not want to believe that we influence it with our actions. But when we immerse ourselves in it, we want to protect it. Because that connection is made, when we understand we are all part of one web. This was illustrated by reintroducing wolves into Yellowstone. Balance was restored to the ecology, so much magic happened. Until those who don’t know better, felt the wolves should be killed and bounties placed on them. Some humans are just idiots. Nature has her own wisdom and if we don’t disturb it, it thrives.

I feel this is especially more important now that we are so dependent and addicted to technology. Being unplugged is even more important to our wellbeing. Mental and physical. We need to have the experiential moments of listening to birds, smelling the forest, walking on the soft ground, hearing the water babble, and so much more. Do you know why you feel so much better when walking in the forest? Trees emit essential oils called phytoncides that we inhale as we walk through the forest. These oils help boost our immune systems by boosting the number and activity of our Natural Killer cells. The Japanese have a term for this, they call it Forest Bathing. But many studies from around the world have proven the benefits of it. Including, but not limited to: reducing stress, improving mood, increasing the ability to focus- helping kids with ADHD, improving sleep, and so much more. And it is my belief, that the further we get from this, the more unstable we become. Urban parks can provide the same benefit as going into the forest.

It is in these times in Nature, that we can quiet the craziness of our worlds, and be able to reflect. And ponder, and listen, and observe. The Natural world has a lot to teach us. I spent time at a retreat with four Peruvian Shaman back in November 2018. These men, and others, live high in the Andes and observe the changes in their Natural world, and can actually predict what changes are coming to Earth, Pachamama as they call Her. They rarely leave their environment and they have an amazing connection to the Natural world. At the end of our retreat, they each gave their predictions by reading coca leaves. Their predictions made no sense at the time, but now, since COVID has hit, I realized this is what they were warning us about. They had also predicted the wild weather patterns that we hadn’t yet experienced, but are now. They notice when subtle changes happen in their environment, bigger changes are happening to the rest of the world. And they pray about it, perform ceremonies to help remedy the imbalances of this world. It is nice to have Allies trying to remedy, rather than have corporations, lobbyists, etc, working on wreaking havoc on it.

There are many great teachers in the Natural world. And I guess the main point of this issue is, that by not separating ourselves from the Natural world, we can maintain better health, mental and physical. We can learn to get in touch with our deeper selves, and be elevated. Have a mutual respect and want to protect what we have. For we are a part of it all, not separate. Truly, what we do to the web, we do to ourselves. Nature would thrive without humans, but humans will never thrive without Nature.

It is in Nature that we can really learn to get in touch with our heart. This will be the focus of the next blog entry.

The Whispers Within the Heart

Welcome to my Blog.

First, I would like to thank my son, Adam, who designed and put my webpage together and nudged me when I was dragging my feet. His talents and knowledge always amaze me. And I am so grateful for him. And also acknowledge my daughter, Anna, who also has encouraged me, helped me with editing, and other complicated (well, for this old lady), technological issues. I couldn’t have put this together without them, and I love them dearly.

It is in this space that I would like to share stories, insights, engage in dialogue about the essence of what is truly important in our journeys as human beings here on this Earth. To illustrate how listening to the whispers in our hearts, can lead us to a life that is in alignment with our soul’s purpose. And live a more fulfilled life.

Not a life full of expensive things, or fancy vacations, or any other external material matters. But the journey into ourselves, and our relationship with the Natural world around us. And how being still and listening to our hearts, we can find peace and fulfillment. And to do this with fun and humor.

I know that life isn’t easy now. I am not talking about always being in a state of Zen. But trying to find that balance to remember who we are and why we are here.

So, I would like to start with how I chose the name for my business: Heart’s Wisdom Healing. Back in 1997, I attended a weekend retreat at a little known place in the Santa Cruz mountains called The Institute of Heartmath. If you have not heard of it, it is now a world-renowned Institute that has been on the forefront of research on the intelligence of the heart. They have tons of research that shows it is actually the heart that controls so much in the body, not the brain. I like to think of it as the heart being the driver of our vehicles, and the brain is the sidecar. I won’t get into it all now, but you can look them up, and read all about what they have discovered. Their techniques to lower stress and bring our bodies back into “entrainment” have been used by schools, the military, working with PTSD, in top 500 Fortune companies, the U.S. Government, and all around the world.

It is the Heart that holds the wisdom, the Truth. And we can access this simply. But we have to be willing, and open, and listen.

I am no self-proclaimed expert in anything, but what I will share is what has allowed me to have very soulful experiences, because I listened to my heart. And, I have to warn you that I am not perfect. Not even remotely close. And I don’t want you to think, that I think, I am better or special because of my experiences. My stories are to illustrate the results of listening to those whispers and going with them. And this is available to anyone and everyone who wants to listen.

I would love to hear feedback, and engage in dialogue and share stories. This is how we learn that there is this connectedness with each other. Not just with other people, but with the whole Natural world.

I look forward to sharing this journey with you all. And I wish everyone the best New Year yet.

I realized there is no way for people to respond. I will get this fixed as soon as my tech dept is available.